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Oracle - The First One
<Forge> Can I wish you a Happy New Year? <N-Mean> What?! NO <Forge> Could I kiss your feet? <N-Mean> no <Forge> Could I… <N-Mean> No. <Forge> couldiwriteacolumnformpplease? <N-Mean> Sure. <Forge> …oh… <N-Mean> How are you today anyway, Forge pal? <Forge> …stopit, you're freaking me out
Day 1 I've got a column. I've got a column!
Day 2 Col-umn! Woooo-OOOOO!
Day 3 Um. What am I gonna put in it anyhoo…
Day 4 <N-Mean> YOU HAVEN#T SUBMITTED ANYTHING FOR FOUR DAYS! I've got nothing to refuse to put up. <N-Mean> *!!!!11111111oneoneONE <Forge> I'm sorry. I apologise.
I'm not joking! He said I could write a column. I'll have to start calling him N-Ice. I'd tell you what I presently call him were I not beginning to feel slightly guilty…no, must be indigestion.
Didn't have a clue what to write. At all. Thought about it all day. Words perhaps, arranged in sentences, but beyond that…beyond that…except, in the shower, when I thought: Fan-fiction. No, won't do. Searched all day in three hour vigil (</joke>) through My Brain Version 3.1 for a subject. Logged on to My IRC Version 5.9 to consult My Girlfriend Version 1.0 but all to no avail.
Except, I feel, as The Bells interrupt mid-sentence, I should wish you all a Happy New Year. The more zealous contributor, such as branners, would ascend one step, two jumps and a giddy smile further to posting 'Happy New Year Marble Palace' in the hope it might post back - in binary - validating both his existence and investment in My Little Idiot's Guide. Version 8.
Happy New Year. Reader, Non-Man, Administrative target and Pikachu alike.
So Pokémon rox. Don't diss. Whatever this column turns into, neglected by the best of intention, it must be begun from inception (wot is di propa place fae wot to begun fings) with strong Kanto foundations (foundations bein di popper place fae wot…).
I doubt all of you still follow The Ways Of The Pogeyman; beliefs in Pikablu now dashed (and so it is written: As the trainer returnedeth to the Cinnibar House its denizen did wail: 'My Raichu evolved!'*), prophecies as yet unfulfilled at levels G, S or C (E is being considered by the English education authority). But disappointed or zealous, we came together as trainers to find perfection, find the master, then promptly left him so that now his name is insulted rather than reverently invoked at every turn.
Uh…Um. The person, player and trainer who surrendered his cartridge to the dust had the same initial interest as the one who picked it up for the first time, crying Pikachus and Thundershocks. So this topic is relevant to you all.
Some of us who are a little backwards and shall remain anonymous (branners**) only recently ignored the companionship of the Gameshark for the theoretical fist love of - yes - actually training the 'electronically identical' friendship-animals. He has joined the ranks of myself and D21 who list our happiest memories thus,
10. Training Dragonite to Level 89 9. Training Dragonite to Level 90 8. Training Dragonite to Level 91 7. Training Dragonite to Level 92 6. Training Dragonite to Level 93 5. Training Dragonite to Level 94 4. A tie between training Dragonite to Level 95, training Dragonite to Level 96 and training Dragonite to Level 97 3. Training Dragonite to Level 98 2. Training Dragonite to Level 99 1.
100 BABY!
So as (essential phrase for 31 Dec) the old year draws to a close, Iyse accidetnally-stumbles, accidentally-drunk into the next one…as we rush to a new forum and as the populance of Canada - as both of them - force Golem Kong through the annual ritual of changing his underpants and donning new socks (Which he was given at Christmas GK: Thanks Gran!) I would like to raise a glass of Del Monte's finest, say woo and finish this sentence. Furthermore, a nod to MP - *nods* - fine example of 'democracy', long may the Marble Palace reign as it does N-ow without N-y one N-dividual at all N-estled atop its marble-y throne.
Look to this column for all your editorial, rantitorial and wordy needs!
Mon the workers!
# So watch this space Or it might be REPLACED By another auto-writer who likes the word lamer Repeats his standards till blue in the FACE Or baked to slightly golden brown And that would be a WASTE! # YEAH! *jazz hands*
Comments
may be sent to DarthDavid@knighthammer.fsnet.co.uk
and could well be quoted in a future
* I am not knocking Holy Scripture! Let me make that quite clear! Christianity rox. ** I would like to apologise to branners for labelling him a 'backwards child'
N-Man's note: o_O;
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