N-Mean
The initial suspicion that N-Man is not merely backward in his compliments (eg 'you smell') but in fact mean, planted itself in the minds of those closest to the Marble Palace machine when the prince of darkness himself led a revolution to force Darryn to close Pokemon Daily, or worse, re-open it. The events that followed are catalogued in the Jewish Torah and Christian New Testament, specifically Isaiah and The Revelation To John which point to N-Man as 'the abomination/abolition that causes desolation'. Further evidence has since come to light and warranted the format of an article.
Firstly I would beg the question 'What does the N stand for?'. The answer of course is 'Nintendo' however this does not corroborate my theory so we must look at the European definition for this 'Nintendo'. Collins Non-Existant European Dictionary Of Esparanto defines it: 'Manifestation and/or living explication of diabolicised gratuitous inhumanity' It goes on further to say 'The closest parallel would be if the world populous fell victim to a flesh eating faschiitas and the only cure existed in Budhhist Japan however the rest of the world had to wait six months for a press release saying 'Oh by the way we delayed it' and a promise to release it, two weeks after everyone had died from want, in a single tiny shop in Wales. Alternatives: Nasty' I have underlined the final sentence because its actually relevant - N-Man has confessed by his own name that he is, as the European dictionary defines it 'Nasty Man'. And if you look up nasty you really do get mean.
In a recent conversation with The Great And Mighty Forge, N-Man is quoted as saying two things to the following effect:
1) <N-Man> FROGE!
Here he is attempting to hail The Great And Mighty Forge, however by transposing the positions of the R and the O, he is 'name-calling'.
2)
<N-Man> I can't just say yes without discussing it
<N-Man> I may be bad, but I'm not quite Uncle Adolf!
Here Nasty-Man refers to the most feared barbaric dictator in history who slaughtered millions of Jews, Christians and Modern Studies Teachers - all his own people - because he didn't like them very much. Nasty-Man refers to this person as 'uncle'. Like Hitler, N-Man is 'holding his nose high and entering the Reichstag' by using democracy to establish a dictatorship power base and an orange tinted 'Marble Palace'. The scriptures indicate we will soon be required to wear a mark of N-Man if we wish to either buy or sell. This may or may not take the shape of a vulgar green dinosaur. Unlike Adolf Hitler N-Man is Dutch and this is where the differences if you believe them to be too separate entities. If you believe Hitler really did kill himself. Curiously, N-Man has more than proven his knowledge of World War II related History in the 2001 Scottish Qualifications Authority Higher Paper 1 which featured the following question:
How many times did Prime Minister Chamberlain go to the toilet between 1945-1950?
-
Twice
-
Three Times
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Never
'Young' N-Man, candidate number '1337', answered C and gained extra credit for this side note:
'Chamberlain, that evil weak minded fool, retired five years previously and so was not serving as Prime Minister at that time due primarily to my, erm, Hitler's public victories over his top-heavy appeasement policy'
The time is now my friends - N-Man has re-militarised the Rhineland. Action. Action must be taken before this mean character vanquishes all opposition and becomes democratically elected leader of any minor country such as England, placing him in a clear border vicinity to The Great And Mighty Forge, who he is mean to. N-Man has already acquired his own electricity company called, cannily, 'N-Power' which advertises low prices and happy pills (available also as spores attached to the bill, accounting for the effect witnessed in his evil commercials) for its customers. He is brainwashing a country through the distribution and their addiction to, narcotics which has created for him an army of neds. This service is not available in the surrounding are of The Great And Mighty Forge, who does not take drugs anyway, because N-Man is mean to him.
Furthermore his command of English is exemplary. I myself have witnessed him make two mistakes and one contraction over a period of twelve months and these were simply to throw us off the scent on a long winding trail that leads to an inescapable destination of logic: N-Man is not a man but a robot. For a human non-native English speaker to make so few, arguably no, mistakes in a chat room scenario is unbelievable, unless the non-native speaker was me. Never I am in English msitakes the maikeng. A diagram of the basic N-Man unit is available at all good Dr Who sites under 'dalek'. This takes the same form as his 'N-Woman' (or LS for short) and other 'N-People'. I write these words with a shiver twisting down my spine dreading the day that each of us will be 'N-replaced'. On a similar point of language his favourite phrase 'lol' is in fact derived by process of scansion from 'Exterminate!' which has been identified by the BBC as mean, forcing our parents to hide behind couches (showing N-Man as old, as old as our parents, as old as 'Uncle' Adolf). Another telling sign is his use of the word 'hello', in a black regular font and a Dutch accent which translates: 'You suck'. So to anyone who has ever been welcomed to #marblepalace by this maniacal fiend I ask: Has N-Man ever been mean to you?
*random screams of pain in the background*
N-Man is not mean. (Help, I'm being opressed!) I love him. (He's editing me!) I take back the lies that I spread. (Fortunately, he can't read brackets!)
...
N-Man's own note: o_O;